I'm a girl of simple desires and aspirations. I don't want much, but one of the things I've always wanted to do is see popular '90s multi-hit wonder Smash Mouth perform live. I can only imagine how fun it would be, singing enthusiastically along with such songs as "Walking On the Sun," "All Star," and that cover of "I'm A Believer" they did for Shrek and then listening with mild curiosity to whatever other songs Smash Mouth has written.
But it seems the fates are conspiring against me.
But it seems the fates are conspiring against me.
It started with a few offhanded remarks by my friends, mentioning Smash Mouth concerts they had enjoyed in the past, or even recently. Soon, I began to realize that most of my friends had had some kind of Smash Mouth experience. Everyone had a great Smash Mouth concert story but me!
With an eye to make up for my Smash Mouthy shortcomings, I paid close attention to Smash Mouth-related news. I checked the newspaper and various Smash Mouth fan sites religiously for news of a Smash Mouth concert. For the first year of my mission, Smash Mouth didn't go on tour. I was crushed, but I persisted. I waited for what seemed like endless months, keeping a diligent eye on any and all possible leads.
Then suddenly my vigilance was rewarded! Smash Mouth was coming to A TOWN NEAR ME! It was perfect! But as soon as I read the details, my spirits were crushed. The concert was scheduled for the same day I was set to have a major operation (cosmetic, not life-threatening--I was just having a minor deformity, my extra lips, surgically removed).
There was no way I could cancel my operation--I had already been on the waiting list for six years and had only been waiting for Smash Mouth for one and a half. So it was with enormous disappointment that I resigned myself to waiting for the next time Smash Mouth came to town. After the bandages were removed and I returned home, I had to endure my friends' exciting stories about their experience at the Smash Mouth concert. Some of them had even gotten back stage passes--they'd gotten to meet Smash Mouth! I was beyond jealous.
I wish I could take this story towards an uplifting and cheery conclusion, but I am a slave to the sad truth of my situation.
When I met up with some friends weeks later, one of them greeted me with "Oh, Cathy! If only you'd gotten here earlier! We were hanging out with Smash Mouth, and they just left!"
I was, naturally, very frustrated. But I was destined to live through this scenario over and over. It seems like every few weeks, it'd be "Smash Mouth took us out for smoothies last Tuesday" or "I just picked out a really nice area rug with Smash Mouth!"
Smash Mouth seems allergic to me. No matter how close they are with seemingly all my good friends, I never manage to cross paths with them. Smash Mouth and I are destined to circle each other endlessly, never meeting, not even in the mid-sized venues in which I would imagine they perform.
So at this point, I have pretty much given up. If I do ever see Smash Mouth, it will be because the powers that be have decided it. Until then, I'll keep my eye on the concert listings and wait.
This isn't met as a criticism, but how many different early 90's musical acts can you substitute for "Smash Mouth" and still have this be funny?
I actually DO want to see Smash Mouth, and was going to last week. They were going to play in Kalamazoo for free(!) but the lead singer broke a few of his ribs while riding a motorcycle and had to cancel the concert.
However, as far as I know, they are still playing near Chicago on the 4th of July. If I can find transportation, I'll be going. Anyone want to come with?