February 2010 Archives

Supermarket Haikus

By Stuart on February 16, 2010 8:42 PM | No Comments
Goddamn claw machine
never grabs the fucking prize
Just one more attempt.

Lemons are on sale!
Watermelons are on sale!
Greeting cards are not.

Caution: Floor is wet.
Maybe someone should dry it,
not set up these signs.
Continue reading Supermarket Haikus.

Interview with Andy

By Stuart on February 15, 2010 7:07 PM | No Comments


If you didn't get your fill of interviews with the current issue that's out, here's an interview with Andy, a homeless meth addict turned hare krishna following cosmetology student with lots of shit in his closet I lived with last spring break.

Stuart: What was your most recent memorable dream?

Andy: I dreamt about all the members of Happy Days. They were still acting but in a completely different show.

S: What was the last thing you regretted buying?

A: $100 worth of DVDs when I was drunk.

S: Recount a strange food experience you had.

A: I was prepping up jalapenos, then I took a piss, then I ended up on the floor w/a bag of ice over my goodfellow for a half hour. AHHH!!!

Continue reading Interview with Andy.

Punday Monday - February 15, 2010

By Stuart on February 15, 2010 12:09 AM | No Comments
The traffic at the intersection is unparalleled.

Hyperbole - Playground antagonizer who didn't hake his ADHD meds.

Sewer coverings are grate!

Dick Valentine Interview Transcript

By Gargoyle on February 3, 2010 2:54 PM | No Comments
By Joe Sipka

Electric Six are without a doubt one of my favorite bands. They have a pretty eclectic mix of sounds, and have been described as garage rock mixed with rhythm and blues and disco, and their lyrics are always amazing. I don't know of any other current bands that can sing about escaping from Ohio or Domino Farms and still be taken seriously. After trying to get an interview through normal agent-related channels I used a sort of  six degrees of separation connection to them, involving the friend of a boyfriend of a coworker, who has or had some kind of working relationship with the band. In any case, after the trials of setting up the interview and fighting with our office telephone David and I sat down to have a chat with Dick Valentine, the frontman and songwriter of the band.

JS: How do you write so much music so quickly? It feels like you were just touring for "Flashy."
 
DV:  Um, you know we put out an album then we tour, we see things, we talk to people, we have conversations, and that leads to more music.

JS: Out of everything you've put out do you have a favorite track, or any top favorites? I mean, obviously Gay Bar is pretty popular.

DV: Yeah man, I don't know, every now and then I think about that and I'd say right now my favorite song is Transatlantic flight, I was thinking about what a great song that was, but it could change tomorrow.
Continue reading Dick Valentine Interview Transcript.

Punday Monday - February 1, 2010

By Stuart on February 1, 2010 12:37 PM | No Comments

A statue bust is never waisted.


Once, my sister told a joke that was so bad, our uncle hit her. It was a real niece-slapper.


Skid marks in your underwear may be due to your ass fault.

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