By Mia Lambert and Sam Baumgardner

By Charlie Palmer Long before it was a magazine, The Gargoyle was a cave. In what is now vaguely considered Southeast Michigan, early humans gathered around a fire and scratched satirical drawings into stone: stick figures mocking their tribal leader, a bison labeled “mid,” and at least one speech bubble reading something untranslatable but clearly sarcastic. Anthropologists agree this was the first issue. In the late Middle Ages, a group of monks at the University of An Ar

By Rev Rico In a recent study performed by the U**** Psychology Department, iPad screentime was found to nourish childhood enrichment. Several children with ADHD were left in a room with only an iPad; they spent an average of 8-10 hours a day on the screens, and in fact, showed increased dopamine levels. Brain activity skyrocketed by 200%, supplemented only by Cocomelon and Baby Shark. The children suffered no clinically recognized psychological issues (not including stunted