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Straight Conversion Therapy

By Izzy Hedin-Urrutia A scenario: you’re sitting around the crumbling, flaming hole acting as the fire pit in the co-op that you’ve spent...

Requiem for a Particular Night

A poem by Christopher Hanlon A girl named Sarah Who could not have been finer Came to eat with me At a 1950s themed diner I wanted to...

A Trip with Rudy Giuliani

By Nicholas Dibagia Parody: https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=55565 Dose: A handful, Oral, LSD Blotter; 1 bowl for recovery,...

The Buck Stops Here

By Nicholas Dibagia We’ve all heard the saying: “The buck stops here.” Maybe it was in that picture taken by a potato during Eisenhower’s...

Schlissel Says Relax

By Nicholas Dibagia “What the fuck is going on?” “Who’s in quarantine now?” “Covid causes your sexual orifices to shrivel up?” These are...

They Met God

By Madilyn Eberstein Skkt skkt. A pair of dusty cowboy boots thudded onto the saloon’s sand-sprinkled porch. The sun-bleached planks had...

Modern White Democrat Porn

Oval Office, The White House June 14, 2015 The year was 2015, and President Obama’s second term was coming to its fateful close against a...

Merely the Mons

By Sarah Aftab To Rajiv, I am sorry I quasi Jeffrey Toobin-ed you :(( Please read this apology to the tune of Monster Mash: I was just on...

Ross Ascending

A message from Stephen M. Ross: Dear Students and Staff of the Ross School of Business, THE TIME HAS COME FOR US TO CLAIM OUR DESTINY! As...

Rock the Vote

Notes from the other side of the class war By Izzy A. Hedin-Urrutia Humans are creatures of tradition. We crave the familiar, the...