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Dancing Under the Moon
By Bee Whalen
Dec 3, 2025
The Good Pills
By Jacqueline Brace She was already 4 drinks and 2.5 mystery pills in by the time she stumbled up to Club Nosfra2. Her party had called it a night about 40 minutes earlier, but her artificially uninhibited brain was hankering for some midnight mischief. She must have gotten one of the good pills in the mix she’d fished out of her friend’s ex-girlfriend’s FWB’s Monster High handbag, because the mountain of a bouncer guarding the door had massive stone wings folded behind him.
Dec 3, 2025


Dragula: Suckin' Blood, Turnin' Looks
By Zeno Park and Charlie Palmer Every college town has that one mysterious figure you only see after 2 a.m.: South Bend has that leprechaun, Columbus has some coked up homeless guy probably, and Ann Arbor has Dragula. But unlike those other freaks, she isn’t hiding in crypts. Instead, she’s haunting the karaoke bar. She’s been slaying (literally and metaphorically) since the 1400s, when she traded her coffin for a closet full of sequins and started working the midnight shif
Dec 3, 2025


Guide to Party Drugs
By Mia Lambert
Dec 3, 2025


Michigan Ghouls Rule!
By Madeline Lewis
Dec 3, 2025


Intellectual Dirt
By Sabrina Barnes
Oct 23, 2025


Claw Machine Society
By Bee Whalen
Oct 23, 2025


Subscription Ad
By Madeline Lewis
Oct 23, 2025


Panopti-Con
By Mia Lambert
Oct 23, 2025


Attention Deficit: Focus Group
By Kendall Jordan Do you find yourself struggling to pay attention? Looking at your phone for— HEY YOU! YES, YOU. PAY ATTENTION. Are you tired of having to look up from your phone every day? Is watching TikToks at 4x speed still not fast enough? When was the last time you had a meal in the dining hall without doomscrolling? If any of these sound like an average day in your mediocre life, you have a problem… a problem we can fix! Introducing U-FOCUS! A focus group dedicated t
Oct 23, 2025


Carbs and Carnivals
Written by Paolo Poquiz Illustrated by Ivanna Flores-Cabrera The year is 2030. Democracy is dead, as is the practice of critical thought. The culprit? Governments give the masses scraps needed to survive and shower them in spectacle—vapid and violent headlines, movies, and internet fads to make us all angry, confused, yet still content. Bread and circuses. Panem et Cirque in Latin, if you have a thing for the Romans who started this whole Western imperial nightmare fetish. T
Oct 23, 2025
“For safety” and other such lies
By Rebecca Borlace Entering college, you can’t escape the onslaught of moronic advice from sophomore influencers who think one year of college makes them part of the classe supérieure . I haven’t bothered counting the number of mattress toppers, laundry hampers (“You HAVE to get one with wheels”), and headboards I’ve been recommended by people whose dorm room tours look like mini-apartments. It really makes you wonder how they managed to fit all of that into their mom’s 20
Oct 23, 2025


Fake Ads for Volume 116 Issue 3
By Annika Smits By Charlie Splete By Annika Smits By Madison Dennis By Annika Smits By Eve Sotham
Mar 5, 2025


Help!
Readers wrote in to The Gargoyle for advice...
Mar 5, 2025


Imaginary Friend
By Paolo Poquiz Dummy was a yellow bolster pillow I met when I was born, and he was my best friend. He was my confidant on long...
Mar 5, 2025


Bring Your Kid to Work Day: The Kids Report
Written by Molly Anderson, Illustrated by Charlotte Mulroy “I thought my parents might have a fun day planned for me, but it was just...
Mar 5, 2025


Fan Art!
Thanks to all the Gargoyle for Kids fans that sent in their art this month!
Mar 5, 2025


The Front: A True Undercover Account
By Jacqueline Brace, Illustrated by Annika Smits I was in too deep the moment I stepped into that trash pit of an office. My assignment...
Jan 14, 2025


At the Movies...
By Eve Sotham
Jan 14, 2025


Drag Queen Trey
By Annika Smits
Jan 14, 2025
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