May 1Straight Conversion TherapyBy Izzy Hedin-Urrutia A scenario: you’re sitting around the crumbling, flaming hole acting as the fire pit in the co-op that you’ve spent...
May 1Requiem for a Particular NightA poem by Christopher Hanlon A girl named Sarah Who could not have been finer Came to eat with me At a 1950s themed diner I wanted to...
May 1A Trip with Rudy GiulianiBy Nicholas Dibagia Parody: https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=55565 Dose: A handful, Oral, LSD Blotter; 1 bowl for recovery,...
May 1The Buck Stops HereBy Nicholas Dibagia We’ve all heard the saying: “The buck stops here.” Maybe it was in that picture taken by a potato during Eisenhower’s...
May 1Our Rankings Of The Best Cardinal DirectionsBy Brendan Dewley 4. South South should clearly be marked as the worst cardinal direction. South means down, and down is bad. 3. North...
May 1Yeehaw! This Western Town Decided To Create A Modern Caste SystemBy Brendan Dewley Yeehaw! You got that right, partner! This southern town boilin’ in the swelterin’ heat of the New Mexico desert just up...
May 1Schlissel Says RelaxBy Nicholas Dibagia “What the fuck is going on?” “Who’s in quarantine now?” “Covid causes your sexual orifices to shrivel up?” These are...
May 1They Met GodBy Madilyn Eberstein Skkt skkt. A pair of dusty cowboy boots thudded onto the saloon’s sand-sprinkled porch. The sun-bleached planks had...
May 1Modern White Democrat PornOval Office, The White House June 14, 2015 The year was 2015, and President Obama’s second term was coming to its fateful close against a...
May 1Merely the MonsBy Sarah Aftab To Rajiv, I am sorry I quasi Jeffrey Toobin-ed you :(( Please read this apology to the tune of Monster Mash: I was just on...
May 1Ross AscendingA message from Stephen M. Ross: Dear Students and Staff of the Ross School of Business, THE TIME HAS COME FOR US TO CLAIM OUR DESTINY! As...
May 1Rock the VoteNotes from the other side of the class war By Izzy A. Hedin-Urrutia Humans are creatures of tradition. We crave the familiar, the...
