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Going Green at UM: A Narrative
by Amer Goel It was a cold, brisk, dark, gloomy, dark, brisk, cold night. Time for dinner, perhaps. A hungry (and handsome) dark young...
Apr 19, 2022
Beloved Animated Cucumber Ravages Africa, Investigation Underway
by Tess Beiter April 15th Tragedy has struck the northern coast of Africa. News finally broke yesterday explaining the worrying silence...
Apr 19, 2022


THE REAL (BUT SLIGHTLY REDACTED) HISTORY OF THE GREEN M&M
Uncovered By: Amer Goel and Tess Beiter, descendants of Donald Regan June 12, 1992 Dear Diary, The USSR has finally fallen to our valiant...
Apr 19, 2022


How the Garg Saved Saint Patrick's Day
by Anson Lee Once upon a time in Ireland, there lived a mischievous Gargoyle. He spent his days pranking the animals of the forest,...
Apr 19, 2022
Something Smells Funky at 420 Maynard!
by Baba Johnny Its’ The Month of April in the year 2022! which means on the first Saturday, April 2nd, students and potheads will gather...
Apr 19, 2022
Why is the Gargoyle Green?
by Gautham Jayaraj People often ask “who is Gargoyle?” but many don’t ask “why is Gargoyle?” or more grammatically sensical, “why is...
Apr 19, 2022
Green Pilled
by Ashton Gibson You’re trapped in a windowless room, alone, save for the threatening and oddly lumpy trench-coated figure blocking the...
Apr 19, 2022
Gargoyle vs. Green Goblin
by Gautham Jayaraj Spiderman No Way Home revealed the reality of the multiverse. There are many spidermen out there on different Earths,...
Apr 19, 2022


Death to Frogs
by Mady Eberstein The case of the Frog leaves me not just displeased But entrapped in a feral and murderous seige See, at even my...
Apr 19, 2022
Schliss Knish
by Gautham Jayaraj A ransom note trembled in Mark Schlissel’s hands, hardened through years of pastry consumption and tuition raises....
Mar 16, 2022
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