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Greatest YouTube Comments Battle

by Gautham Jayaraj

Video--Dave the Cashier Steals Money From Man Stealing Money

MeckMenu: These guys were just passing the baton in a track meet

teapony: Dave the type of guy to climb a transparent wall to see what's on the other side

MicaMinecraf: Dave’s the type of guy to stand in the sun to dry off his own sweat

turtlesquirtle: Dave’s the type of guy to beat a man up and ask him why he’s bleeding.

Video--Retired Mob Boss Reveals His War Tactics

babbaloli09: I feel like this guy has read “Sun Tzu, the Art of War'' front to back. It’s a great read, if I may add.

  • Double O’seven: I’ve read that book too! My favorite quote is, “if a woman leaves you for another, don’t worry, there’s always her mother.” -Sun Tzu, the Art of War

  • babbaloli09: @Double O’seven I don’t think that’s in the book.

  • dogemaster: “You scratch my balls, I scratch yours” -Sun Tzu, the Art of War

  • Driplord1996: “Who needs to conquer a woman when you already conquered an entire nation?” -Sun Tzu, the Art of War

  • pittitopotato: “If you don’t let shit bother you, then you will never need to change your underwear.” -Sun Tzu, the Fart of War

  • lumberzach: @dogemaster “If a mosquito lands on your balls, and you don’t slap it, that’s when you’ve truly mastered self-control.” -Sun Tzu, the Art of War

Video--I finally react to 6ix9ine’s latest song

playboishotty:Great video bro. The song was pretty trash but I could feel your disdain oozing from your face holes and it got me actin up.

FBI: Haha 69


Dear 6ix9ine,

I’m not sure if you’ve come to watch this video but I needed to get something off my chest. I’m sure you don’t know this but I was paralyzed from the waist down thanks to a tragic accident in my football career. But today, I managed to stand up and walk to my phone for the first time in a long while to turn your piece of shit song off.


Little Pumper

Video--Dave the Cashier Steals Money From Bank

tittac: Dave’s the kinda guy blind people stop being blind to see

Chris-San: Dave’s the kind of guy to stand up and tell you that his legs aren’t working.

Azizsenpai: Dave’s the kinda dude to wake up everyone in the house to ask them if they’re sleeping

Video--Bilbo Baggins Fights the Three Trolls (Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey) 4K 5.1

ImNotAnSJW: This movie glorifies violence. The large scale battles don’t consider the brutalities of war.

mothertrisha: I don’t feel the 5.1 effect in my headphones.

  • Mr. Todd Daniels: Headphones are stereo. You only have 2 out of 5.1 stars.

  • bunnygirluwu: 5.1 means 5 headphones and one computer speaker

UnknownHobb1t: ‘Twas a glorious battle. I pushed and shoved like no other man could. Unfortunately, my accomplishments were largely overlooked, but I can assure you I fought my hardest. My muscles gasped for air and my lungs ached. Sweat dingled off my brow while I took that massive shit near a rock. The sounds of Bilbo screaming and running around the trolls after they caught him sneaking up was the perfect music to motivate me to expel my fat shit.

Motivational Video - Unleash Your Inner Beast

Dr. Chad: My goldfish saw this, now he’s a shark

  • AlphaMale828: I showed this video to a mouse. It became a rat.

  • SigmaMale989: I showed this video to some milk and it became cheese.

mademosiellecrayon :I finally have the confidence to beat up my old man. He stole my doritos. I’ll give you guys an update in a week.

  • Urbad: Did you beat your dad up yet?

  • tyRupeeSign: How did it go?

  • rasputin$: Come on, give us an update

  • mademosiellecrayon: Update--I think I took it too far. He shoved his walking stick up my sensitive regions.

choochoosam: Aladdin watched this and became a prince in one video

  • Athleansex: Mulan became a man after watching this

  • *metamale*: My dad who I haven’t seen in 5 years showed up after I watched this

Dave the Cashier Sentenced to Death

waterwetfax: When Dave became 18, his parents moved out of the house.

turtlesquirtle: Dave won a game of horseshoes without taking them off the horse.

chris”mario”pratt: Everybody gangsta until Dave stands up from the electric chair saying he’s fully charged.

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