Hiiiiiiiiiii this is my first fanfic so pls don’t leave mean commentsss!!!!!! It takes place between the first and second LOTR movies, I hope you enjoyyyyy!!!!!!
After a long night with little rest, the two hobbits continued along their treacherous journey to Mount Doom. They’ve been walking for miles with no end in sight and were starting to fatigue. Sam could tell Frodo was still sore from their evening activities, and the burden of the Ring was certainly not alleviating his pain.
“I’m sorry about last night, I just can’t help myself around you, Mr. Frodo. If the Ring’s hurtin’ ya again, I could carry it for a while.” Sam said gently, rubbing Frodo’s back. This both calmed and aroused the hobbits.
“No, it’s quite alright, this is my burden to bear.” Frodo said, blushing. “We haven’t much longer to go, I see a cave not much further ahead.”
And so, the two continued up the mountain until they reached a cave towards the summit. They went inside to make a fire and set up camp for the night. After eating some bread and potatoes, they laid down in their shared sleeping bag.
“I wonder how Aragorn and the others are doing.” Said Frodo.
The thought of Aragorn and his strong Viggo Mortinson jawline and flowing hair never escaped the mind of Sam, and it let his imagination run wild. Frodo noticed that the area around Sam’s pelvic area started to tent. Frodo turned to face his comrade.
“I know what you think, Sam, but who needs him? We have each other”. He stared into Sam’s fat, tender face with his big, big, beautiful blue eyes.
“Mr. Frodo, you’re right. But what if the rest of the shire knew about us?”
“Shhhh, they will never know.” Frodo said as he put finger up to his lips. “With you I don’t feel naked and afraid in the dark, I feel naked and free.”
They leaned into each other and nothing else seemed to matter. The Ring, Sauron, Gandalf and all of Middle Earth began to fade away until it was just the two of them and their primal desires.
Suddenly, they heard a branch break outside the cave.
“I bet that was Gollum again, he’s been jacking off to us every night.” Said Frodo, frantically searching for his sword.
“Hehehe, is this what you’re looking for?” Said a large man with green pants, a white shirt and round glasses. He was holding Sting by the mouth of the cave and it was clear he was not of this realm.
“Who are you?” Said Sam, still erect.
“You guys don’t know? I’m Peter Griffin, Gandalf wants me to throw the One Ring into the volcano at Mordor.”
“No, Gandalf wants me to cast the ring into the fire. Were you even at the council of Elrond?” Said Frodo, aggravated but also erect.
“Yeah, I was at the buffet. One of the elves told me to find you and help you save the world.”
“Which elf? What are you talking about?” Said Frodo.
It was then that Peter realized how attractive Frodo was. He was enamored by his big curly hair and hairy little hobbit feet, an exotic site for the New Englander.
“I forgot what we were talking about. So uh, what were you fellas up to?”
Sam and Frodo looked at each other frightened. They thought this was the end of the line for their situationship.
“Nothing, sir! Just two women-loving men over here having a quiet night.” Exclaimed Sam, flustered.
“Okay, sure. Say, what’s a fella got to do around here to get a footjob by those big ol’ feet of yours?” Peter asked as if he was ordering a beer at the Clam.
Frodo and Sam looked at each other, as if one was going to have an answer. They simply shrugged and prompted their unexpected guest to join them in their bag.
“I guess you’re gonna have to find out, Mr. Griffin!” Said Frodo.
To be continued….
By Jacob Futterman