By Sarah Aftab
To Rajiv, I am sorry I quasi Jeffrey Toobin-ed you :((
Please read this apology to the tune of Monster Mash:
I was just on drugs, one chilly Halloween night
Wearing a costume that wasn't all that tight
When it came out and it caused you a fright
It was merely the mons, not the whole shabam
Oh please man, please understand
It was the mons, the mons flash
It was the mons, the mons flash
One Hallows eve, i was trying to talk to my good friend Rajiv
When i thought i sensed a gentle breeze
But i just ignored it and kept on talking
But what I shouldn't have done was continued walking
It was the mons, the mons flash
It was the mons, the mons flash
I swear to you Rajiv, I didn’t mean to harass you
I know you have a wife and an awesome cat too
it was just the breeze that blew open my costume
During our private call in zoom
It was the mons, the mons flash
It was the mons, the mons flash
I didn’t mean to cause you a fright, I hope this is alright
Next time i will keep my clothes on tight
It was merely the mons that caused you a fright
Oh please man, please understand
It was the mons, the mons flash
It was the mons, the mons flash