Just as dawn broke on October 45th, 3078, archeologist Burnt Bees made an astounding discovery. Bees’ team has spent the last three years excavating a domestic dwelling from around the year 2020, hoping for a find which would finally shed light on the mysterious species researchers have informally dubbed The Homos.
At long last, their work has been rewarded. The dig culminated in the excavation of what appears to be a piece of decorative resin. The piece is clear, with pink and red flowers circling a photograph of a caucasian male. The back is inscribed with the words “Harry Styles,” along with a strange symbol: an open triangle joined with a numeric three. For reference, it appears as so: “<3”.
The male’s teeth are bared, his lips curving upwards towards his eyes. This rather threatening expression has led researchers to speculate that it may have been a photograph of a man who lived in the home, left to intimidate potential intruders. It may also be a form of religious iconography, or a part of some sort of ritual; celebrated anthropologist Baja Blast told Gargoyle that he suspects the writing on the back is an incantation.
The photograph is circling widely, with Homo enthusiasts around the globe attempting amateur summoning and necromancy rituals using the phrase Harry Styles. Practitioners differ on the pronunciation of “<3”.
If you attempt any variation of this ritual, and find yourself able to speak with or raise the man in the photo from the dead, please contact your nearest emergency medium. He may not be friendly.
By Anna Stansfield
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