by Mayee C
There has been a murder on Baker Street, London. Sir Ulysses of Essex was slit in the throat on his way back to his flat. Sherlock, unable to find a babysitter, brings his son along to the crime scene.
Sherlock: Alright son, here we are. Put that diet cola away.
Sherlock Jr.: But dad, I just opened it!
Sherlock: This isn’t time for play.
Sherlock Jr.: Alright alrighty, I’ll put it on the counter.
Sherlock: Now, I want you to open your eyes and observe. Tell me what you see.
Sherlock Jr.: Well, given his suit is all muddy, the Sir must have been a builder!
Sherlock: Son, what was last night’s weather like?
Sherlock Jr.: It was pouring all night with great thunder.
Sherlock: And so what happens when dirt and rain mix?
Sherlock Jr.: I’m afraid I don’t know dad, what happens?
Sherlock: Mud happens… mud happens my dear son. I thought you would have been more sharp in this area, since you spend half of your recess playing in mud .liek some sort of blundering idoit.
Sherlock Jr.: Can we go now dad? I’m quite bored of this guy’s dead eyes staring at me.
Sherlock: I’m trying to teach you to observe, dammit son. You’re 7 now, you have eyes. Look at his hands, what can you tell me about his left hand, the one clutching the piece of paper?
Sherlock Jr.: That he doesn’t have one?
Sherlock: It’s LITERALLY in front of you.
Sherlock Jr.: I didn’t notice it at first, promise!
Sherlock: Just… just tell me where he got the indent on his fourth finger.
Sherlock Jr: Someone must have strangled his fourth finger! Jimmy once did that to my neck when we played the no-fainting game on the playground. My neck was all weird like that after I lost.
Sherlock: You what?!?
Sherlock Jr.: I lost of course, and I had to pay for all his sweets that week.
Sherlock: I knew I shouldn’t have met your mother at Watson's Christmas party.
Sherlock Jr.: Dad, my cherry lolly’s finished up. Can I get another one?
Sherlock: I swear I’m sending you to America after this. Clearly none of my genius has passed down at all. You have the IQ of a worm at this point.
Sherlock Jr.: Is this man dead dad? Why is lying on the floor in the afternoon?
Sherlock: That’s it, we’re leaving.
Sherlock Jr.: Great! Can we stop by Jimmy’s house?
Sherlock: I’m leaving you at Jimmy’s forever… son, what happened to the piece of paper in Sir Ulysses’s left hand?
Sherlock Jr: I thought it was a napkin! The sir was asleep, and he didn’t need it. I had splashed a bit of my cola and it started to fall apart, so I threw it in the trash.
Sherlock: You dissolved the evidence and threw it in the trash?!?
Sherlock Jr.: What else was I supposed to do?
Sherlock: I–
Sherlock Jr.: So are we going to Jimmy’s now?