Our Rankings Of The Best Cardinal Directions

By Brendan Dewley

4. South

South should clearly be marked as the worst cardinal direction. South means down, and down is bad.

3. North

Other than the North Pole, the North has nothing salvageable. It is a waste pit. It is better than the South in name alone.

2. West

Without the West, there would be no East.

1. East

The East is home to civilization as we know it. Humanity was cradled at dawn and nurtured from conception in the warm uterus of the Tigris and Euphrates. Early civilizations made the transition from hunter-gather to nomadic farming; from the earliest Mesopotamia and ancient Egypt to the empires of Greece and Rome; from the fleeting moments of emerging culture and art, to the mighty first armies and governments; man saw life as we know it blossom to a human and genuine experience. Every preceding society of man has only the East to thank for the daily facets of life. Every life laid down in human wars, every sacrifice and wonder of humanity, all have been stairsteps on the shoulders of the East. And every morning, all beauty is warmly lit with the dawn from the East.