Me working my ASS off to get you those HOT low quality photos of asshole shaped objects
By Our lovely Sarah Aftab, who will be dearly missed, and whose content and presence always brought a starry emblem of positivity to the Garg office
I don’t remember how I first found out about the Garg but it all happened during my last semester of senior year (but thanks to the pandemic I spent another semester at Umich. (DON'T ASK). I wasn’t sure I wanted to join until I read the disturbing yet spectacular tale of “Dildoccio”. It was the first time I ever read something that seemed like something I would write and I knew that Garg was t
he place for me. I think for a long time my anxiety and depression held me back from connecting with things on campus but in some ways Garg felt like a place where I could channel all my most disturbing thoughts and turn them into funny stories with people that could actually appreciate the strangeness of my humor.
When I became a member I wanted to be involved in everything and joined the business committee where I helped start the podcast called the Gurgle (the Gurg to those in the know) and was given control over the instagram (a mistake). During my time at the Gurgle, Mady and I had an amazing time with our incredible guests and almost went viral (lol corona) with a whole 43 views on one of our videos. I posted constantly on the instagram story, mostly of my infinite supply of cats, my dog with resting clinical depression face, and random disturbing stuff I found around campus/Ann Arbor.
It really sucked that I found out about Garg so late during my time at Umich but being a part of this organization really changed my life for the better. Because of it I met incredibly hilarious and talented people like Mady, Jessy, Nathan, Shannon, Izzy, Brendan and many more that I cannot possibly list off the top of my head. It helped me feel more confident in myself and my writing abilities. It also helped me transition from a really shy girl who barely ever spoke to anyone to an insane woman who pretended to lick a butthole shaped stump ON CAMERA (I make poor life decisions) all within the span of two semesters. I can’t guarantee that this magazine will change your life but I can promise that it will add some much needed humor.
Thank you to “Dildoccio” for being the reason I joined Garg which opened my eyes to this wonderful world that I didn't even know existed. I hope one of my pieces (ASSATRON) can be someone else’s “Dildoccio”. Another big thank you to everyone at Garg who made my time here the best time at college. And the biggest thank you of all to Madylin Eberstein for being the reason I stayed at Garg (je t’aime toujours ma petite bébé). Although my time here was short, it was some of the best of my life and I will always cherish the memories I made with all of you lovely people. I will miss you all very dearly so y’all better stay in touch.