by Baba Johnny
Its’ The Month of April in the year 2022! which means on the first Saturday, April 2nd, students and potheads will gather in revelry the university’s diag to do what they do best: smoke marijuana. This is not to be confused with the latter weed holiday, 4/20 taking place titularly on the twentieth day in the fourth month, april, of this year 2022 which means the whole month is four / twenty too! (two). The Hash Bash has taken place in the diag for 50 years- It began with the feds (derogatory) sentencing poet John Sinclair to ten years in prison for the possession of two joints. Even though it’s legal now this fact still paralyzes me with paranoia every time I see a pig because that’s all it took, Two doobies. If that is illegal then give me a life sentence and throw away the key! Anyway the year was 1971, the beatcomber himself John “the beatles” Lennon made a pilgrimage to the wonderful city Ann Arbor and held a Free John Now! concert in Sinclair's name, not to be confused with his own. Sinclair ended up only serving a quarter of his sentence, not equivalent to seven grams, and the law was changed from ten years to one. Hash Bash used to charge admissions, 5$, payable to the cops writing tickets for small possession infractions. The esoteric plant has since been legalized in the state, definitely thanks to the heroic matyrship of John Sinclair and the many participants of the Hash Bash; the original goal of the festival was to Legalize It!, but now we just toke up in the diag cause we can. It's a perfect location, open space almost entirely surrounded by institution to bother and it's right in the middle of the city so we can crowd up downtown. I think the only possibly better location would be the Arb for its natural beauty but the arb is a lot farther from Mr. Spots, which is close to the diag which I am going to after partaking at Hash Bash. Mr Spots is my favorite restaurant. It’s so yummy and I can always trust it to fill me up for my money. They should open a stand in the diag for hash bash because they would sell so many munchies.
Gary Payton
The Gargoyle has been smoking with Gary Payton ever since he helped him win the natty with the Heat in ‘05. An Indica dominant hybrid strain, Gary P has a strong gaseous flavor with a hint of fruitiness, it’ll leave your mouth feeling like you drank straight from the pump at the Sunoco, and then had a handful of Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries™ breakfast cereal. Gary will leave you with a strong, wavy body feeling of the colors purple and blue.
Aurora
This is the good stuff Gargoyle was smoking on way back when with your parents in the 1980s. A cross of Northern Lights x Afghani, Aurora is a super OG pure indica strain, with seeds from Amsterdam, that will knock you on your ass harder than ten dollar pitcher night at Skeep’s. This is the kinda weed Gargoyle seeks out when he needs to get stoned more than he is already made of. It’s pretty rare, you can only obtain it from the Catman, an Ann Arbor legend. Rumor has it sometimes he rides the commuter north bus.