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- May 1, 2021
- May 1, 2021
Straight Conversion Therapy
A scenario: you’re sitting around the crumbling, flaming hole acting as the fire pit in the co-op that you’ve spent your entire life in....
- May 1, 2021
Requiem for a Particular Night
A poem by Christopher Hanlon A girl named Sarah Who could not have been finer Came to eat with me At a 1950s themed diner I wanted to...
- May 1, 2021
- May 1, 2021
A Trip with Rudy Giuliani
By Nicholas Dibagia Parody: https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=55565 Dose: A handful, Oral, LSD Blotter; 1 bowl for recovery,...
- May 1, 2021
The Buck Stops Here
By Nicholas Dibagia We’ve all heard the saying: “The buck stops here.” Maybe it was in that picture taken by a potato during Eisenhower’s...
- May 1, 2021
Our Rankings Of The Best Cardinal Directions
By Brendan Dewley 4. South South should clearly be marked as the worst cardinal direction. South means down, and down is bad. 3. North...
- May 1, 2021
Yeehaw! This Western Town Decided To Create A Modern Caste System
By Brendan Dewley Yeehaw! You got that right, partner! This southern town boilin’ in the swelterin’ heat of the New Mexico desert just up...
- May 1, 2021
This Man Can Eat The Hottest Sauce At Willy’s Extreme Wing Tavern Off Of I-75 On Exit 97
By Brendan Dewley Hey, you. Try to imagine for a moment guzzling down two dozen bone-in wings in just thirty-six minutes. Now, imagine...
- May 1, 2021
Senior Farewell: Sarah Aftab
Me working my ASS off to get you those HOT low quality photos of asshole shaped objects By Our lovely Sarah Aftab, who will be dearly...
- May 1, 2021
Turning Point USA Ad
By Sarah Aftab
- May 1, 2021
Schlissel Says Relax
By Nicholas Dibagia “What the fuck is going on?” “Who’s in quarantine now?” “Covid causes your sexual orifices to shrivel up?” These are...
- May 1, 2021
Remove Your Shoes Saul, for this is Holy Ground
By Caroline Davis and Michael Rosenberg
- May 1, 2021
They Met God
By Madylin Eberstein Skkt skkt. A pair of dusty cowboy boots thudded onto the saloon’s sand-sprinkled porch. The sun-bleached planks had...
- May 1, 2021
Modern White Democrat Porn
Oval Office, The White House June 14, 2015 The year was 2015, and President Obama’s second term was coming to its fateful close against a...
- May 1, 2021
Merely the Mons
By Sarah Aftab To Rajiv, I am sorry I quasi Jeffrey Toobin-ed you :(( Please read this apology to the tune of Monster Mash: I was just on...
- May 1, 2021
Ross Ascending
A message from Stephen M. Ross: Dear Students and Staff of the Ross School of Business, THE TIME HAS COME FOR US TO CLAIM OUR DESTINY! As...
- May 1, 2021
Rock the Vote
Notes from the other side of the class war Humans are creatures of tradition. We crave the familiar, the inherent, beautiful ease of...
- May 1, 2021
To Whom it May Concern
From: ahedinur@umich.edu To: administration@umich.edu Date: [redacted] Time: 10:47 am Subject Line: New University Construction Project –...
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