By Nicholas Dibagia “What the fuck is going on?” “Who’s in quarantine now?” “Covid causes your sexual orifices to shrivel up?” These are...

By Madylin Eberstein Skkt skkt. A pair of dusty cowboy boots thudded onto the saloon’s sand-sprinkled porch. The sun-bleached planks had...

Oval Office, The White House June 14, 2015 The year was 2015, and President Obama’s second term was coming to its fateful close against a...

By Sarah Aftab To Rajiv, I am sorry I quasi Jeffrey Toobin-ed you :(( Please read this apology to the tune of Monster Mash: I was just on...

A message from Stephen M. Ross: Dear Students and Staff of the Ross School of Business, THE TIME HAS COME FOR US TO CLAIM OUR DESTINY! As...

Notes from the other side of the class war Humans are creatures of tradition. We crave the familiar, the inherent, beautiful ease of...

From: ahedinur@umich.edu To: administration@umich.edu Date: [redacted] Time: 10:47 am Subject Line: New University Construction Project –...

ANN ARBOR, MI - Legend has it that a posse of sorority girls today looks like this: designer sneakers (that cost more than my...

Happenings at the District Court of Ann Arbor, 2020. by Madylin Eberstein

An Ode to Jaywalking By Nicholas Dibagia So sweet is the walk of the jay, Saccharine but I, irresisting, canst avoid To maketh thee...

by Anonymous They want you to think that they are just a simple sandwich chain that began in Connecticut, but I know the truth. Even back...

by Madylin Eberstein

By Stefan Grueneis To All Members of the Campus Community: Over the past week, there have been increasing numbers of COVID-19 cases in...

From the Book of Mark (excerpt) by Madylin Eberstein At the end of the strikes, he went down and stood high above where they were on the...

A Collaborative Piece written by all on the Gargoyle Writing Staff, including Nicholas Dabagia and Stefan Grueneis Get a mini 5G tower in...

HELP WANTED: About 2,205 Graduate Level Instructors by Brendan Dewley